Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
