I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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