Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
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Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
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From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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