I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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