I have demons in me.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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