Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
