im drinking this country out of the recession.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
