WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
