they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
