I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bring me that man meat
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
