so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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