Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
