I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
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It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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