We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
