Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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