Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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