I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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