So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
