Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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