We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
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Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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