Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I enjoy the company of your penis
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
