New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
