did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i need some magic done to my vagina
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
