Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
