maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
