i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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