did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
