you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize