apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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