wrigley field is MILF paradise
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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