She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
