Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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