I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
