The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
