i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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