please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
