I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
