got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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