i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
