Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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