if you like me you must not know who I am
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
