Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
