I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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