Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize