i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
