when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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