that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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