I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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