Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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