allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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