He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize