Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
