My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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