Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
