I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize