3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I could make wine with my vomit
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
