there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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