she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
North Korea, Best Korea!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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